You should! Cause im The reason your Mom lost her eye! You see i Got real close to it with My Lil dicky and shot My garlic infused jizz in her creepy red eye
It smells like a taco with a lot of cologne on it. — Sean, on the cologne commercial Cash wants to make starring Antonio Banderas.
They’re retarded - it’s not like they’re black. You can make fun of them.
I was just thinking, I should marry a Thai woman just so the wedding invitations can say ‘I’m Thai’n the knot.’ — Cash, over lunch at Jasmine Thai Restaurant.
I’m so Italian that at midnight all the pasta sneaks out to meet me in the street. — Cash, on finishing his spaghetti dinner.
Your mama looks like Rutger Hauer and Clint Eastwood having a thumb wrestling match. — The best insults I swear to god.
"I feel like I’m about to eat angel poop."
Cash, discussing the sugar free cheesecake balls Ambyr made for him.
Bonus, after he bit into one he added:
"If this was your shit, I’d eat a mile of it just to kiss your ass."
That’s 50 pounds less! Doesn’t matter how much he did weigh… Like tossing a lawn chair off the titanic. — Watching American History X