“Can you imagine a midget getting raped, dude? How sad would that be? With his sad cry face and midget tears? …… I think midget tears are the reason we have miscarriages.”
“Don’t ever touch my taint, baby girl. Because if you do… we’ll be married. I’m serious. My taint’s a special thing. It’s been featured in magazines. Oprah liked that shit on Facebook.”
“Look at the fucked up fashion of these niggas! One’s wearing pajamas, one’s got the latest fashions, and the other one’s got the original jacket that China’s had since day 1…. that’s the name of the one who made that jacket, Dai Wun!” — Watching the Big Loss, c. 1971.
“Did you just put butter on your ice cream, you fat shit?”
“How sad is my existence that I know Laverne and Shirley’s last names? I should just kill myself, end it now.”
“Shave that ass! Wash your balls! Shave that ass! Showmewhatyou’reworkinwith!”
“You always look at an offered vagina. I’ve seen _____’s… It looks like an old catcher’s mitt holding a rotten apple.”