May 2013
1 post
3 tags
Her: please don't plan anything for June 4th, that's my graduation and I'd love for you to come :)
Cash: Oh I'll cum alright! I'll cum so good they'll have to give me a honorary MAGNACUMLOADLY DIPLOMA!
April 2013
2 posts
“Can you imagine a midget getting raped, dude? How sad would that be? With his...”
“Don’t ever touch my taint, baby girl. Because if you do… we’ll...”
March 2013
5 posts
4 tags
“Look at the fucked up fashion of these niggas! One’s wearing pajamas,...”
– Watching the Big Loss, c. 1971.
3 tags
Live Action Mario Kart movie casted by Cash and...
Wario: Burt Reynolds
Toad: Edward Furlong
Bowser: Christopher Walken
Luigi: Brad Dourif
Guest Post
Friends: -walk in to watch our game-
Sam: God you guys reek!
Dexter: Oh...sorry.
Sam: no! No you're not, you Rastafarian chocolate ball! Go outside!
“Did you just put butter on your ice cream, you fat shit?”
“How sad is my existence that I know Laverne and Shirley’s last names? I...”
February 2013
5 posts
“Shave that ass! Wash your balls! Shave that ass!...”
“You always look at an offered vagina. I’ve seen _____’s… It...”
“It wasn’t even your banana! It was your slimy snail trail, you labia...”
– Mario Kart is a ruthless game.
“I don’t care… I’d massage her butthole til she shit.”
“Oh my god… Man I would pee all OVER her belly, dude.”
– While watching Trading Places and marveling at Jamie Lee Curtis’ amazing body.
December 2012
2 posts
1 tag
“Hey Nicole, I’m gonna pee in your shoe!”
2 tags
“I’d like to see Ru Paul dress up like She-Ra.”
October 2012
1 post
2 tags
“You are the reason I hope my next child is blind.”
– Cash, reflecting on the ugliest woman he’s ever seen.
September 2012
1 post
“I’m never gonna rape again, Guilty penis got no rhythm. Never gonna rape...”
– Regarding our roommate’s pussy tarantula protecting her from rape
August 2012
1 post
“Matthew Broderick may as well be gay, he’s married to Sarah Jessica...”
July 2012
3 posts
“They’re having a karaoke party at the end of the month… I told them...”
– Talking about attending an amputee social event.
“That’s what I say to your mom, Tater: ‘Nice box, asshole.’”
“Midgets don’t deserve legs. They should just be hovering balls of shit.”
June 2012
9 posts
“Hey Mandonna, are you in the bathroom again?!”
– Cash, hurrying Tater
“I saw the Senator at the Castle one night in a t-back. His balls looked like an...”
– Cash
Maggie: I like you with and without the beard.
Cash: Wait til you see the cock mullet I'm growin'.
Sal: oh, on the sides?
Cash: yeah, like down the sides and nestling under the balls, like a beard. A cock mullet.
“Shar peis look like old vaginas.”
“So a Buddhist walks up to a hot dog vendor and says ‘Make me one with...”
“FUCK ASS IN THE BALLS!”
– Re: Mario Kart
May 2012
3 posts
“Look at this bitch. She looks like a long-haired gremlin. Like an old cigarette...”
– Cash, on Dodi in Things to do in Denver When You’re Dead
“Don’t blame their bad teeth on vacations, man. It’s genetics. They...”
“Midgets smell like raisins.”
April 2012
12 posts
“I’ll get you, you fuckin’ dickhead face fucker!”
– Playing Soul Caliber 5
“It’s like those mother fuckers who write on rice. That’s what you do...”
“So you know when you’re taking a hot shower, the boys are all spread out...”
– Regarding his balls
“Who? Oh Jennifer Connely? Oh yeah dude, Labyrinth style…. she looks like...”
“Hey Tater Face, come pick up your shits.”
“Is there an option for rape? Rape them in their elven butts. Elf bastards.”
“Frozen yogurt and assholism: the Foundation of America.”
“What you didn’t know? Nazis are aliens.”
– Cash
The Quotable Tumblr
Now with Ask-box capabilities and a design perfect for Cash’s personality, this tumblr will post directly to Twitter. Come check it out and stay tuned for the Pearls of Wisdom only Cash can provide…